Today in question was not the best of days. I expressed my opinion oh so candidly and I could not help but think of my mother. I had to think of her as I prepped my chicken, I thought of her as I chopped my herbs, I thought of her as I told my best friend that on her birthday she was worth it. Telling a woman that “she is worth it”, is not so romantic as it sounds. Women are trouble, men just… well we have our opinions. Men are just men and some of them are really asses. Unless you are me and you catch a fine one. Super fine.
I thought of my mother today as I often do. I think of her and one other woman, my best friend. Today was her birthday (not my mommies) but my friends so I decided to play the whole “I love you” bit and go over there, cook dinner and express my heart and soul.
The thing is, like my mom, I really love this woman. Simple and honest. Just love her. I could eat her alive.
Just like my mom, she claims no self worth. Either do I for that matter.
Why are the most dedicated, loving, intelligent, compassionate women I know so ignorant of their worth?
Why do we make eachother feel worthless?
I wish it was not so but it seems to be a never ending cycle. All of the men I know are overflowing with self worth and yet the women who support them are not.
Where did our confidence go? Was it ever there? I believe my mother was made to feel worthless by her mother who hardily praised her and depended solely on her sons to keep her happy while my mother (who did all the work) was never recognized. But my mother IS very special, intelligent and compassionate. She keeps me going on these really bad days. She has more value to me than anyone. I wish her mother had told her so. Maybe then she would not feel as she does about herself.
I wish I could take my mother and my best friend to some fantasy world where we are all loved and praised and where we could believe in ourselves. We deserve it.